National Mend a Broken Heart Month

It’s very appropriate that February happens to be National Mend a Broken Heart Month. Why should happy lovers, after all, have all the fun? Members of the Broken Hearts Club should also be able to commiserate and have some time for themselves this month, don’t you think?

But broken hearts aren’t just for lovers. They’re for estranged couples, bereaved friends and families, former friends; many times, mending a broken heart means making peace and giving forgiveness, even when it feels like we’d rather hold onto all of that pain and heartache until it makes us explode. The thing is, holding onto all of those feelings is worse for us than it is for those who’ve hurt us; it’s not making them lose sleep, after all, and only serves to manifest more suffering in our own lives.

So during February, even if you don’t want to indulge in heart-shaped boxes of chocolate or sing sappy songs, take one step toward mending a broken heart—yours or the heart of someone you care about.

Make amends. Tread back to those broken bridges with a hammer and some nails and started mending. Call an old friend you’re on the outs with and say you’re sorry. Reconnect with estranged loved ones. Even if they don’t want to form relationships, let them know that there are no hard feelings, that you hope they are well, and you will think of them fondly.

Forgive. Write a letter of forgiveness to the person who left, who broke your heart, or who simply hurt you for what you think is beyond repair. You don’t have to send it; just pour your heart out, acknowledging all of the grief and heartache, and move on.

Help a loved one get through a tough time. If you have a friend or relative going through a divorce, break-up, death, illness, or other rough patch, offer to just be there. Do what you can, whether it’s help with some phone calls or cook a meal, and above all else refrain from judgment. Hold your loved one when he or she needs holding.

Take it back. If you said something so hurtful you wish you hadn’t said it, tell the person. Explain what you really feel, and deeply apologize without asking for anything in return. No, you can’t actually fully take it back—but you can let him or her know that your comments were out of anger, not truth, and that you regret saying them and causing pain.